Top Ten Communication Tips For Good Relationships

Top ten communication tips for good relationships

Whether you are in a relationship that you value and want to enhance, or separated and want to make the best post-separation environment for children, there are some very effective things you can learn to do in any negotiation.  Better still, using the help of a trained counsellor can help you get to your goal of communicating better faster than you could on your own.

  1. Become a skilful listener – assume your partner in conversation is trying for a helpful outcome and listen for that.  Try to identify the ‘worthy purpose’ behind what might seem to be an argumentative (or injured) style.
  2. Ask questions to help you identify the useful outcome he or she might be aiming for – questions such as ‘and if you got that, how would that help you?’  and ‘what else is important to you?’
  3. Remember that your tone of voice can convey real inquiry and interest, or undo all your good listening by sending a sarcastic non-verbal message.  A good tip to help with friendly tone of voice is to smile while asking your questions.
  4. You can only do a good job of listening and inquiring if you have put aside your own arguments and anxieties while you listen.  Tell yourself (and perhaps your conversation partner) that you are parking your thoughts and feelings for a while so that you can understand what the other person is aiming for and telling you.
  5. When you have listened to the other’s thoughts and feelings and asked ‘ is there anything else you want me to know’, take time out to absorb what you’ve learned about the other person and their aims by saying ‘thank you for explaining all that to me, let me take some time to think about it’.
  6. When it’s your turn to communicate, break it down into steps, such as:

This is what I’m experiencing (Sometimes, you are late picking up the children)
This is how it affects me (When you are late, I am late to netball and the team is frustrated with me being unreliable)
I’d prefer (to be sure you will pick them up on time so I can be reliable for the team)
How can we tweak our arrangements so they work for everybody?

7.  Your tone of voice and body language are going to influence how well your communication works, so improve your chances of cooperation by inviting the other person to sit with you, make eye contact, keep your posture open and smile.
8.  Avoid recounting any history of complaints you might have in your gunny sack against the other person.  You can’t change that past history.  You might be able to change the present.
9.  Pay attention to timing and conditions.  When there is something to negotiate, find a time that is not going to be interrupted, check whether it’s a good time for the other.  Pick a time when people are not exhausted or hungry or in pain, or drinking, for instance.
10. If there is a chance to acknowledge or appreciate the other person’s contributions, grab it.  When you hear the other person say something like ‘what about all I do around the yard?’, respond with a genuine appreciation of that contribution.  Don’t negate your appreciation by adding ‘but it would be nice if you ever did the dishes’. Your partner’s likely purpose is to feel like they count for something so there is an opportunity for you to help them with that.

When you realise that you have a problem with communication with your partner or family then the services of a trained and skilled counsellor or mediator will be money well spent.  You will get to your goals faster with professional insight into where you and your partner or family are contributing to a breakdown in communication.  Best of all the professional will help you achieve skills that will serve you well for future communication for good relationships.

Rosalin can be contacted by on Phone: -0424 002 640   OR


 ‘Ocean Central’ 
Suite 18, Level 4 
2 Ocean Street 


 18 Excelsior Road  


 Landsborough Medical Centre  
 5 Maleny Road


Please ring or email Rosalin for appointments at any of these offices.








Experienced & Trusted Counsellor…

Rosalin Primrose - Psychologist

Rosalin Primrose

MA, Reg Psychologist, FDRP

Phone: 0424 002 640

Your privacy is important so who can you trust?

Concerned about who to trust with your privacy and problems?

Knowing that your privacy is of paramount importance in the client/counsellor relationship will help you to relax in counselling sessions and Rosalin’s supportive and caring approach will help hasten a speedy resolution to your problems.

What if you never changed the way you are feeling or behaving now? Don't risk staying stuck in non-serving thinking or behaviour.....

Phone: 0424 002 640